3 Smart Ways to Respond When He Opens Up About His Past | Relationship Advice for Women by Mat Boggs
Mat Boggs shares relationship advice for women and the 3 smart ways to respond when a man opens up about his past.
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Do you know what to do when your man opens up emotionally?
It’s in these moments that your relationship becomes deeper…
The way you respond when he lets you see his vulnerabilities…
It’s everything. It tells him you care and that he can trust you with his heart.
We all want to be an amazing, supportive partner.
Sometimes, that means really thinking through your responses…
So those deep conversations don’t catch you off guard and make you push them away instead. Click play to learn more!
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Mat Boggs Bio:
As a sought-after dating and relationship coach for women and international speaker, Mat Boggs has helped thousands of women understand men, improve their relationships, and attract the relationship they want.
As the best-selling author of Project Everlasting, and creator of Cracking The Man Code, Mat Boggs? dating and relationship advice has been featured on national media including The Today Show, CNN, Headline News, Oprah and Friends, and many more.
Mat's Mission: To increase love in the world, one heart at a time.
As a dating coach for women, Mat believes that your history does not determine your destiny, and that you are more powerful than any circumstance you are facing. The relationship dream in your heart really can become the life you love living!
Mat Boggs highly acclaimed relationship programs have served women around the world in all age groups.
If you’re interested in receiving help attracting love or improving your relationship click here:
Directed and Editing By: Luke Dejoras
Written By: Mathew Boggs
Related Topics:
Dating Advice For Women
Relationship Advice For Women
Relationship Coach For Women
Dating Coach For Women
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When someone opens up the first time, just listen and: “Thank you for sharing this with me. I appreciate your trust.”
I’ve probably made all these mistakes but I’m so glad I’m not ignorant of this anymore. Help me father to be there with them and comfort them
Mistake #1: Deflecting: 1:47
Mistake #2: Diminishing: 3:30
Mistake #3: Dishing out unsolicited advice or telling your own stories: 5:18
This happens to me right now, what I did is comfort him, support him, always let him know that I’m always here for him whenever he needs me
I’ve probably made all these mistakes but what I’ve learned watching this and going through hard times is healing always comes from allowing yourself to feel, hurt, and move on naturally. That’s the most beneficial way rather then pushing aside. Also sometimes silence and a good hug can heal mass trauma
*Hey friend I got my relationship fixed back with the help of a man who brought my partner back in 48 hours after many years of separation.♥️♥️*
*十2349155456106👈♻️🚻你好，親愛的現在*
OMG. I just realized that I did make the first mistake which is deflecting. He was opening up and I just encouraged him to not believe the awful things they said to him as a child. Now, I realize that when he goes through something like deflecting, he makes a fascade. And, that fascade is where he laughs and uses a lie to cover up that he’s observing your response to his lies. He does this to find out your character without influencing your response.
十2349131720996♻️♻️🎦🚻还在等什么…
I just listened. My tears rolled down my cheek. Then, he said he wanted me to meet his sister and mother. It was so special.
十2349131720996♻️♻️🎦🚻还在等什么…
Be careful. These are also tricks of a narcissist.
@@liveandletlive9333 being sweet is the trick of a narcissist? Wtf? Paranoid as hell. That isn’t the trick of a narcissist… now if he switched up quickly, yes, but don’t taint a pure, simple thing with your neurosis.
I’m glad he is even willing to share a little bit of his past with me.. I just receive it.. and said I am proud of you for seeking professional help and sharing with me. 🙏🏽
Hello,get help from Dr Wilson,where they seems no hope
Hello sweetheart never give up on the one you love… know of a man who can attract back your ex. He was the one who brought back my ex ever since I got back with my ex I have been enjoying my relationship with him.
Message him for help*🙏
Mistake
#1. Deflecting
#2. Diminishing/dismissing
#3. Dishing out unsolicited advice etc.
Correct
#1. Be present.
#2. Acknowledge how they feel.
#3. Ask an empathetic question. How can I help?
My man is very willing to open to my questions and sharing his past. I always take time to listen so he feels heard. That’s important. For both of us.
Realized now what I’ve done wrong and thanks a lot for course correcting me what to say Matt! But one thing I believe I’ve done right is to hold firmly on his shoulders and give hugs. The contact feels comforting and makes it easier to release and let go what is painful.
How to respond when a man is opening up emotionally about his past.
Mistake 1. Deflecting: Don’t change the subject in an attempt to make them feel better. Just be present for them. Go deeper into that pain with them.
Mistake 2: Diminishing: For example I know you lost your job but there are people who don’t have the job at all. Acknowledge their feelings. Honor their pain. That must be really hard. I’d feel the same way if I were you. I imagine that’s really painful. It help them feel validated and heard.
Mistake 3: Dishing out unsolicited advice: Telling them stories about you going through something. It doesn’t help them feel better. Be present with them, acknowledge their pain and ask them empathetic questions. I am sorry you are going through. Is there anything I can help you with that.
Hey Matt this video was Super helpful. I’ve been in those situations and you really don’t know what to say. The fact that you gave True Supportive phrases means so much to me. Thank you now I can respond better and show him more empathy. And be present for him.
I once dated a guy who grew up in a cult, and he told me everything, all the horror stories, I just listened and told him I appreciated the felt ok to tell me, that I would never judge him, because he was a kid when all that happened and that I would always be there to talk it over, if he needed to.
We didn’t date too long because he went back home but we’re still in contact and I’m one of his confidants as part of his therapy.
I am in a new relationship 3 months and I am glad I found this, we both are starting to open emotionally and both of us esp. Him is very hard to do and now I have BAQ, so happy this came my way
This is not just for women to their man, men should do this exact same thing for their woman! My boyfriend makes all of these mistakes with me every time I open up, and now I understand why I feel so unheard and uncared for. I wish he could hear this, it’s all I want, just his presence and empathy.
Thank you! I was going to say the same. As a mother, I learned to do these things for my children and my spouse. However, I have never yet met a man who would do these for me. Feels so dismissive and shallow to never go deeper.
Being present is always best… yes!
I feel like “is there anything I can do” maybe to SOON after them opening up may also feel like a very closed end question. Because chances are there isn’t really anything that they “need” other than being present.
me and my partner are both struggling to untangle abusive pasts x we seem to beable to help by hearing, holding and healing each other by sitting silent and knowing when to speak and when to just hold each other while listening and understanding sometimes no words are wanted or needed at that time but knowing we hear and feel each others hurt.
thank you Matt 🤗
How nice. You are fortunate to find compassion. It’s rather rare
Acknowledging what he is going through and being emphatic is very helpful
Don’t make it about you or tell a story about how a bad thing happened to you once.
I ask questions like: how did that feel? How did that change things for you? And yes, validate and acknowledge. Tell them how you admire the way they handled themselves.
I hear ya – EMPowered!
Communication is definitely key in any type of relationship – without it, a lot of relationships tend to fail.
If you can’t effectively communicate with your partner, especially when it comes to how you’re feeling, or what you may need, that could be detrimental to your relationship.
And if this issue is not dealt with, it’s just a matter of time before someone starts looking outside of the relationship for ways to meet their needs – and we all know what that could lead to!
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde – Dating Tips
@@carlosverde-datingtips7001 absolutely Carlos!
@@EMpowered06 thanks! I appreciate it.