5 “Nice Girl” Habits All Women MUST ELIMINATE NOW | Relationship Advice for Women by Mat Boggs
Mat Boggs shares dating advice for women and 5 "Nice Girl" Habits All Women MUST ELIMINATE NOW
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Mat Boggs Bio:
Mat has helped millions of people around the world attract love and develop fulfilling relationships. He’s also the founder of a revolutionary system of attracting love called Manifest Your Man.
In addition to running a highly successful coaching business, Mat is also the co-author of the best-selling Project Everlasting, which received a major, six-figure advance from Simon and Schuster publications.
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1 through 5 are definitely a No-No for me. I’ve been through one relationship (marriage) where I allowed, and this second time around I’m not going to bring my resentment or anger, but my boundaries will be coming into play next time around.
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I was married to the nicest man I ever knew I thought. After awhile I was noticing behaviors that were not very good for our marriage. Right after that I discovered that he was a narcissist. He tried to destroy me and I almost lost myself in the process of trying to make the marriage work. I left him. Future faking and micro cheating are only 2 of the characteristics of a narcissist. I am back to writing my poetry and my art, music. I feel like a new person.!!! Ladies you cannot love a narcissist
A mi me sucedio igual. Existe una sociedad actual que crea y no pone ningun limite a esta personalidad narcisista. Saludos de Argentina
Amen to that, I am also a survivor of a very toxic narcissistic relationship. After you get through it you definitely come out a better person, but it almost destroys you first. I will never again get into a relationship like that.
Please stop the ableism. While you cannot love an untreated narcissist, you can very easily love one who is treated. What you were married to was possibly one who was untreated, or suffered from a different mood or mental disorder (BPD, Bipolar, Manic Depression, just to name a few). If he never sought out therapy or even solo therapy when you discussed the issues, then HE is to blame, not his disorder. The majority of us with mental or mood disorders (I have both) seek therapy or solo therapy in order to have healthy and happy relationships.
Although those are not characteristics of someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but can be of anyone lacking healthy balance, maturity, healed attachment wounds, is unaware. The word Narcissism has got inflated and used on people without it being appropriate. Any bad behaviours and human social/love-accidents are not “Narcissism” .We are all human beings and as such flawed and imperfect, and many mistakes made are unaware and can be talked about to be corrected. And we victms play a part too in our co-dependency or other lack of healthy boundaries.
But maybe your situation was much worse than those 2 things you mentioned, and maybe he really had NPD. Was your problem only with him? I have had mine with many/most people, and not just in love.Have sought prof. help since forever but am still waiting for a right treatment like the ones on YT but IRL. Am too isolated to not have human help in real life, I think. – Nice that you do poetry and art! 🙂
Me too. I’m loving regaining my creative side, my way, not serving someone else. 🥰
I really like setting my boundaries are using I statements, being playful, yet direct, and expressing my needs with clarity and kindness
Hi Matt! 🎉🎉🎉 I agree with u
Thank you Matt, your advice is so needed!! ❤
1. Canceling plans with friends last minute to accept his invitation. It impedes relations with friends and teaches guy his plans are always more important.
2. Allowing play insults even if it hurts you deep down. Guy will respect you for stating boundaries.
3. Changing your personality to suit his mood, compromising your way of being.
4. Allowing yourself to get physical or sexual before you are comfortable. Men don’t equate sex with emotional connection early in the relationship. Scare off wrong guy faster to attract the right guy, who will respect a desire to wait.
5. Forgiving him without an agreement for better behavior. Trust grows from making and keeping agreements. Say “thank you” in response to “I’m sorry” and make a new agreement.
Thanks so much for posting this summary – I want to hear what Matt has to say, but I don’t always have the time to listen. So again, thanks!
@@oliviaSusan1230 Glad to be of assistance. You’re welcome!
Man, I made all those mistakes when I got married! I was 25 then and very immature! My marriage lasted 22 years but it was a complete mess! I was such a frustrated and unhappy woman at that time! Now I’ve been waiting for the right guy to create a brand new beginning with him and I thank God for all your advices and support! God bless you, Matt!!! Thank you so much for sharing this precious content with us!!🎉❤
So how did you handle the situation
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Mat, I totally agree. This should evolve into a ‘father daughter talk’ type of book if you haven’t already done one. I will for sure show my kids this video, it is not only valuable when it comes to love but all kinds of relationships.
BOUNDARIES CREATE CLOSENESS
Nice Girl Habits.
1. You cancel plans with your friends to accommodate his last minute plans.
2. Letting him play insult you even though it secretly hurts your feelings.
3. Changing your personality to fit his moods.
4. Getting physical before you are comfortable.
5. Forgiving him without making an agreement for better behaviour.
When something uncomfortable happens, you speak up.
My college boyfriend made his “sex move,” and I told him I wanted to wait. His response was, “Oh, I love you!” First time saying that to me too! He said where he was from the women were always sleeping with guys right away and he loved that I put my foot down and said no.
You know what I think is encouraging about that story of you and your girlfriend/now wife? That shows that we don’t have to find someone who is perfectly 100% aligned with us, just someone who is humble enough to work with us and accept our boundaries and vica versa. ❤
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Thank you for this one :). Hope a lot of woman hear that. It´s the right way for both sides.
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This is appreciated. Thank you for describing how losing oneself actually happens. It’s all so true. This is also different from other videos on the same topic.
Ive learned the power of my stillness. When something happens that I don’t feel good about, i really work to #1 calm down #2 slow down #3 look around. Removing myself from emotions, but instead asking myself calmly, what am i feeling, and how can i Lovingly find truth in this moment. Reacting to everything is just triggering for everyone. But unpacking feelings helps me to be my best, most kind, true self for myself and for my guy. Assuming he has good intentions while advocating my thoughts with compassion ❤
Best practices when maintaining my boundaries: journaling to find clarity regarding what I really want and need; repeating the mantra “boundaries are based on needs in order to help keep people IN relationship”; and, maintaining the awareness that I will have a more fulfilling relationship AND my partner will be happier if and when I’m fully alive and authentically ME. If I hold space for who I am, I also hold space for an opportunity for a fulfilling and healthy relationship.
Thank you.
I have recently said, after a guy said he planned on calling me later in the day after his errands, and then he actually called me later; I communicated at the end of the discussion, “By the way, thank you for calling tonight as you said you would earlier today. I really like that aspect of you…” He thought about it & you could hear his smile in his next sentence. He appreciated that I noticed his actions. Five weeks later and we are still communicating well.
This video was really, really helpful and I’ve watched hundreds of YouTube’s regarding unhealthy relationships over the past year. The way Matt communicates really resonates with helping me understand a concept that much clearer. I’m glad I found this channel.
Thank you for this advice. Now I learned 2 points:
1. Do over (your video from years back)
2. Thank you for saying that, let’s do a new agreement.