Do This When You Don’t Feel Chemistry or a Spark With Him | Dating Advice for Women by Mat Boggs
Mat Boggs shares relationship advice for women and what to do when you don't feel chemistry or a spark with him.
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So, what do you do when you've met somebody and they have a long list of great qualities, but they don't ignite that crazy chemistry that you crave and desire?
When they tick all these boxes except for the chemistry box, should you walk away or is there another possibility? That's exactly what we're going to talk about today.
Watch the video to discover the two scenarios that I've seen really work for women in my Manifest Your Man program and how they can work for you!
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VIDEOS ABOUT DATING ADVICE
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Funny First Date Story! Gotta hear this?
What NOT to do on a First Date (Strange But True)
VIDEOS ABOUT UNDERSTANDING MEN
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Scared of getting hurt again? Use this mindset:
When Should You Sleep With Him?
VIDEOS ABOUT WHAT MEN WANT / HOW TO TELL IF HE LIKES YOU
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5 Unusual Signs Your Man is into You!
How to tell if he is emotionally available
VIDEOS ABOUT CONFIDENCE AND SELF-WORTH
3 Affirmations to Attract Love
3 Ways to Create More Self-Love
Uncool is the New Cool (5 "Uncool" Things I Do)
LET’S STAY CONNECTED!
Mat Boggs Bio:
As a sought-after dating and relationship coach for women and international speaker, Mat Boggs has helped thousands of women understand men, improve their relationships, and attract the relationship they want.
As the best-selling author of Project Everlasting, and creator of Cracking The Man Code, Mat Boggs? dating and relationship advice has been featured on national media including The Today Show, CNN, Headline News, Oprah and Friends, and many more.
Mat's Mission: To increase love in the world, one heart at a time.
As a dating coach for women, Mat believes that your history does not determine your destiny, and that you are more powerful than any circumstance you are facing. The relationship dream in your heart really can become the life you love living!
Mat Boggs highly acclaimed relationship programs have served women around the world in all age groups.
If you’re interested in receiving help attracting love or improving your relationship click here:
Directed and Editing By: Luke Dejoras
Written By: Mathew Boggs
Related Topics:
Dating Advice For Women
Relationship Advice For Women
Relationship Coach For Women
Dating Coach For Women
Dating, Relationships, understanding men, Dating Advice, Love Advice Relationship Advice, How Men Think, What Men Want, What attracts men, How to attract a man, how to create lasting love, how to know if he likes you, signs your man likes you.
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After watching Married at First Sight, I remember someone saying “people don’t fall in love, they grow in love”
I recently met someone on a dating app and we texted for a month and realized how much we had in common and both gave each other the respect to respond daily to one another.
When we finally met (when our busy schedules allowed), it was very comfortable because I felt like I knew him, although it was a bit strange to now put a real life person and a voice to what I may have imaged.
We’ve now met 3x and I can say we’re friends? (No butterflies and maybe not my usual type- but I KNOW he can be good for me. But I actually communicated to him tonight ( before seeing this video), that I don’t feel a spark but I’m scared to get more vulnerable.
The last bit of this video, is me. I’m already anticipating the failure and feeling like I wasted his time or hurt him. But I communicated my feelings and even though he thinks I should be feeling a spark by now, we have plans to see each other this weekend and spend some more time together in person. We haven’t been physical at all yet so perhaps a little physical touch will ignite this friendship. TBD. Being vulnerable is scary 😅
So any updates? What happened
How’s it going?
Any updates?
Keep us updated! Rooting for you!
I felt exactly the same. I’ve been talking to this guy for more than a half year. Felt so connected and he has all the qualities that I’m looking for. So we met last weekend. It was really good time together, but there’s not much chemistry. It is the same to him. He said it’s still difficult to say what it is but maybe a bit lean to friendship chemistry. So kinda don’t know what we should do know
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I went on a date with a guy yesterday, we talked for hours- it just flowed. There was no crazy sparks at all, but I felt we had enough in common we could see if chemistry could happen. So today he wrote saying he didn’t feel chemistry, nor did I, but I feel one has to go on a few dates to see if something awakens. I have to agree with other comments; our society has “instant” gratification syndrome, and if things don’t happen instantly people won’t try. Real connection is based on friendship and chemistry is built slowly like a fine wine – ❤
And after the year how good is that wine?
Just a reminder to anyone who needs to hear it: you should never feel obligated to go out with someone. Dating should be fun. If you feel like you’re forcing yourself to spend time with them, you shouldn’t be doing it. Chemistry can grow over time but sometimes it’s just not there and it never will be. I think some people watch videos like this and come away with the idea that they are monsters for having preferences about who they date. Remember, eventually this will be someone you’ll see every day for the rest of your life. You’re allowed to be selective and pass on anyone who just isn’t doing it for you.
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This is the opposite take to what i normally hear and it pleased me to read this.
It sounds good when you’re writing it like that, but I don’t think it’s black and white.. You should do what you feel, but often in the dating world men are getting rejected for the slightest and I honestly don’t think people should date if they’re not willing to give it a fair try.. It takes time to get to know someone and if you decide to go on the dating market and see someone with the intention of potentialy having a serious relationship you shouldn’t just reject the other person because you don’t like their shoes, or if you had good chemistry first date and second seems a bit more off.. Give it a chance or don’t date. That’s my opinion.
Thank you for saying this
@@daniellaursen6753If you had chemistry, real chemistry, it’s not going to fade that easily. And if you don’t have chemistry, you may never have it.
For me it’s all about how the man treats me. My husband is on the heavy side but I respect him, his ways and his time and he respects me, is kind and helps me when I need it. Because let’s face it beauty fades but love is eternal. Thanks for a great video and God bless!
Give it 6 dates. Chemistry builds. Do not tell them you don’t have chemistry.
People have veered away from letting relationships and intimacy build over time. I’m not sure if the issue is social media and instant gratification but this is a good reminder that great things take time! ❤️
Instant gratification and looks and lust matter too much! It makes me sick. My best relationships were always the slow-simmer friendship that builds into chemistry. Looks fade over time but a good personality lasts forever.
I would definitely agree with this message Mat. I met my ex and had amazing chemistry right off the bat. Unfortunately, that’s all we had. Got divorced after spending over 28 years with him. Met someone whom is a great friend and has all of the qualities I’m looking for. I choose to develop the friendship and after 2 years see if any chemistry was there. The chemistry did come. It’s one of the healthiest relationships I’ve ever had.
Congratulations, Joy!
Why would a marriage be ended after 28 years. What happened….one day just ended out of the blue?
@@RetzyWilliams I wanted to go to therapy and work on myself and also do couples therapy to work on communication skills. He said no! I can’t work on a relationship with someone who won’t even try.
that is why people date before marriage, You married him, you made a commitment. 28 years is a long time. This does not sound right or good a legal divorce, does not take away the vows made on the wedding day
As simple as just giving a chance for chemistry to grow, sometimes we get caught up in our own ‘types’ and not letting others who aren’t matched our ‘types’ to come and prove their values, we put the spark on the pedestal, as if it’s the only guidance for us to find a compatible partner. In fact it’s sometimes misleading.
OMG WELL SAID
I agree 💯
There is a difference between not being attracted to looks and not feeling chemistry or a spark. Depending on the person, not being attracted to looks can be too big a hurdle to overcome. That’s what people need advice on: how to build attraction when they’re not attractive enough for the person to decide whether they want to be friends or date. Telling them you don’t know if you like them is fine & dandy, but what do you do to find out? The answer isn’t kissing. Some people don’t just kiss someone they don’t find attractive enough to find out if they like them like that. Ew
I can’t bring my self to kiss someone who in not attracted to and have no connection with.
Same ! Recently went out with a guy who I had genuine fun with and we had a lot in common but I was absolutely not attracted to him and could not imagine even kissing him. Im not so desperate to force anything, I don’t think that’s the answer!
I have experienced this build up of chemistry over time with my current boyfriend. For me the key was to realize I deserved someone as kind and courteous as he was Also I had to believe in myself that I was a loving woman and could handle a mature stable and committed lover It’s a first for me.
I am the hundredth person liking your comment, I hope it will bring me luck ♥️
Well, I hate to admit that this relationship didn’t work out. He wasn’t willing to commit to it. But, I did enjoy being with a gentleman for a couple years. Could there be another one out there?
My husband died 2 yrs ago from kidney cancer. No chemistry when we met. As we had breaks together at work, it took awhile for chemistry to build. I never expected this unexpected. I miss him terribly. He was the nicest guy I ever met and was a great man. It’s a surprise when realizing what happened.
@Chibaby Delight I have met someone I’m currently seeing but ty for the offer.
SO SORRY.
There were these 2 men that I knew. Met them both at the same time. The 1st guy was taller, confident and great smile and energy. I felt an instant attraction . As time progressed, he appeared to be more and more self centered and more and more less attractive.
The 2nd man was calm and funny and consistently interactive in a fun way. He showed care and concern and warmth. My attraction really grew. It grew so much that to this day I still think about him and hope to find someone of that caliber and quality in the future.
And yet you didnt date the second guy.
@asmrfoodieuk7965 this is a sad reality in the modern dating world
This is proof women want toxicity
I gotta be honest I’ve been married to a man that I wasn’t completely in love. Chemistry never came. We just got in the friend zone quite quickly after marriage. I’m. Never going to date a guy who grows on my like fungus. Would prefer that spark.
Were you friends first? And did you ever feel attraction for him?
My current boyfriend came about just like this. We had so much in common on our first date and talked for an hour before we even ordered food. It was a wonderful date and I knew I wanted a second one even though he wasn’t exactly what I wanted physically in a man. We had a second date at his house and talked again for hours and it was a lovely time but our kiss outside my car was just awful; closed- lipped and we bumped noses lol. I texted him that I wanted to give kissing a second try and he definitely agreed. As soon as I got to his house on our third date I went in for a kiss and it was the best 45 minute Makeout session I’ve ever had. The chemistry just started to build from there and I couldn’t be more in love than I am now. It’s been three months and I feel like I’ve found the one. It’s really the best. Thank you for your content; I love it!
I’m glad your happy but ‘in love’ in 3 months? You truly don’t even know each other yet. Think you are moving too fast. Fast can be a set up to fail scenario.
@@rezotydnic haha thanks for your thoughts but when you know you just know. Falling in love can happen at any pace. We aren’t moving too fast, we’re moving at just the right pace. Good luck to you!
@@VeronicaStories1 good luck to you as well.i wish you all the best and I hope you get what you want and need from a partner in life.
@@VeronicaStories1 I’m fascinated by your story and I hope I’m not intruding when I ask this but was your conversations running smoothly? I ask this cause there’s someone who I have a crush on and have a lot in common with but as soon as I’m alone with him I go blank, can’t think of much to say and I’m not sure why! (Enter nervous laughter😂)
@@fatimaa4612 our conversations were incredibly smooth. It was the thing that made me think we could be something more than friends. But all you have to do is listen to him and ask him questions about what he says ask about his family and work and goals and past and friends and interests… There’s so much you can talk about, just ask questions and then relate back to him if something is sparked in your mind, tell stories, ask for stories. Good luck!
My favorite type of guy being in RESPECT not in love
I was with my partner for over 10 years and he was a great guy! The best, really, but there was never any chemistry. Not in the beginning and not at the end. He passed away a couple of years ago and there were two types of grieving for me; his passing and the giant void it left in my life, and secondly I had to grieve the loss of 10 years with a partner that was devoid of chemistry and physical intimacy, and the immense amount of loneliness that brought into my life. Which, quite honestly, I didn’t even pay much attention to until after his passing. Perhaps some women can “grow” into chemistry. That simply wasn’t the case for me and ,to date, never has been.
Me too. Its no way to live.
Would you choose him to be your partner again if you have a second chance? Or would you want to wait for the one that you would have chemistry with?
I hope you find the absolute love of your life that redeems those 10 years. ❤️❤️❤️
@@MimosaTower Thank you sister. Me too. ❤️🙏❤️
@@jartotable Agreed. It is not. 🙏
I waited 7 years hoping I’d feel chemistry and physical attraction. I most certainly loved him but I’m sorry, if it’s not there you can’t make it magically happen by waiting it out.
l know of a manl who helped me bring my ex back he can also help you just as he did mine, he does a perfect work l’ m assuring you, you gonna testify
Wha’tsapp him for help
±2349155456106⏯??????
wholeheartedly agree. it’s either there or it is not. i’ve always found that the men i felt the most chemistry with werent the best long term partners/marriage material…but the really great, upstanding guys (with little to no chemistry) were very solid and emotionally safe. this has been a very tough dynamic for me – i’ve yet to experience both chemistry and safety in one person.
@@EadsB7002 same 😢
I don’t know if I am the only one here, but chemistry is something immediate to me. Even if a man has great qualities but I don’t feel any sexual attraction to him, I won’t give him any chance. When I did, it was a total torture to me. I guess you can sense instantly if you like a man or not
l know of a manl who helped me bring my ex back he can also help you just as he did mine, he does a perfect work l’ m assuring you, you gonna testify
Wha’tsapp him for help
There has to be Something there, not fireworks, but SOMETHING, I totally agree. I think the lesson in this vid is it’s Possible attraction will eventually develop, but certainly not guaranteed or even high chances. That’s from 6 decades of living, lol.
Wait chemistry means “sexual”
But what if I be attracted and felt chemistry with someone but didn’t think of them sexually what that means??
This is good. I had this experience. He wouldn’t go away. His persistent text and attention eventually softened my heart.
I’m having the same experience with a man right now, Lathie. He’s persistent about breaking down my walls and can see my vulnerability. I have to admit that it’s kind of nice!