If You Hear Him Say This, RUN | Dating Advice for Women by Mat Boggs
Mat Boggs shares relationship advice for women and when to RUN when he says these things…
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Mat Boggs Bio:
Mat has helped millions of people around the world attract love and develop fulfilling relationships. He’s also the founder of a revolutionary system of attracting love called Manifest Your Man.
In addition to running a highly successful coaching business, Mat is also the co-author of the best-selling Project Everlasting, which received a major, six-figure advance from Simon and Schuster publications.
Mat has been featured on CNN, Oprah & Friends, The Today Show, Good Morning America, and many other media outlets, as well as shared the stage with some of the industry’s biggest names, including; John Gray, Jack Canfield, Les Brown, Bob Proctor and Brendon Burchard, and more.
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I choose a man with an abundant mindset! 🙌🌟🙌
If your not changing it, your choosing it! ❤️🤗
I’ve heard victim mentality with girlfriends, too
Let’s agree to disagree to me reflects a common ground and actually a flexible mindset that allows disagreement without conflict. I use this with my friend often and it shuts down any disagreements and arguments that are going no where.
This can lead to resentment.
@ no we both move on like nothing happened. For us it’s a win,win. Because we don’t take our disagreements to heart. We accept each others differences, and holding space for that shows we value our individuality and differences over just a people pleasing type bonding.
It could depend on what the matter under discussion might be. If it’s a critical matter, disagreeing may be more serious than “agreeing to disagree” about a Ford versus a Chevy pick up truck.
@@Luckyy227sometimes it’s a sign of good self differentiation – we don’t have to agree with our partners 100% of the time.
@@tertain yes, but some things shared needs both partners to have a common good/interest and agreement in situations like kids, money, work, living etc the essential things. That’s why it’s important to have that discussion before marriage.
Thank you Matt. Listening and reflecting over my last breakup, i had some red flags described in my own behaviour, towards him but even more so towards myself. Sobering, i hope I’ll learn from them.
You are amazing! Thanks!
I’m dating a man who has had three apparently bad relationships where they took money from him, he is stuck in progressing our relationship due to these “horrible” relationships. I may need to walk away since he does not appear to have a growth mindset.
yes good point and that’s fabulous you notice and are looking out for yourself.
Walking away might be the only thing that convinces him that you’re not in it for his money.
Walk.
HE’S the prob. He’s lying.
These videos tend to appeal when we’re in the mindset of looking for confirmation of a bad relationship, but if you want to give them a chance to step up you also need to look for positive steps towards trust – even small ones for us sometimes are big for them. If he’s not getting any closer at all, and not willing to build trust, yep, time to go.
One of the phrases is I love everyone ❤️👍🏻
these are such great examples. i appreciate the compassion with boundaries taught in this too. people are definitely in a drought around social-emotional skills. the awareness of this empowers me and helps me choose and manage my behavior. thank you!
Red flags…
“I don’t deserve you”
“I’m not a good guy”
“You’re like a baby”
“I love it when you’re desperate “,
“I love you but I’m not in love with you”
“You’re like my mom”
It’s also a red flag when your partner’s therapist says condescending stuf about you…
Yes, I’ve learned that if “they” (whichever gender) says that, they’re correct! Be polite, but run!
I feel like this can go both ways not just advice for women.
Crazy that my ex did all of these, I’ll admit I resorted to a couple myself in the victim one. I was so blind.
Thank you Mat! What was super helpful with the video is how to respond when someone says these phrases, that’s the piece I personally am working on, thus appreciate the examples so much!
1. Fixed Mindset: “This is just the way I am” or “I’m not good at talking about my feelings” (Implying that those are unchangeable/unmodifiable traits that he’s unwilling to improve & you just have to accept)
2. Let’s just agree to disagree
3. “If you REALLY cared about me, you’d…” (manipulative)
4. “You shouldn’t feel that way” (dismissive)
5. “It’s not that big of a deal” (dismissive)
6. “Nobody else would put up with you the way I do” 🤨
7. Victim mindset: “Why does this always happen to me?” “You don’t understand how hard things are for me.”
8. Emotional victim phrases: “You’re pissing me off!” “You’re making me so mad!” “I can’t be happy because of you!” “I wouldn’t act like this if you…” “You made me do it!”(blaming others, refusing accountability)
9. Gaslighting:
“You’re just too sensitive” “Everyone else agrees with me” (bandwagoning) “After everything I’ve done for you…” (guilt tripping)
10. Name-calling, labeling: “drama queen” “you’re so selfish” “you’re pathetic” or “you’re a nag”
**Keep in mind that a narcissist will PROVOKE, LIE, STEAL, MANIPULATE or even hide items from you & others to the point where a normal healthy person is so frustrated, exhausted and upset that they may exhibit a ‘red flag’ which is typically out of character, so the narcissist can then blame THEM.
In a shouting voice, “I am NOT YELLING at you!!”
I have been married a long time. As I listen to this, I realize that my husband has said so much of this crap, often verbatim, over the years and is still doing it.
Wow. I’ve definitely heard the “No one else would put up with you…” line. Guess someone else was willing to 🤷🏻♀️😂
My late husband, when he was drinking, used to say”quit your nagging or I’ll go down town and drink every night”. Instead of 3 notes a week. I did quit talking cause it’s impossible to communicate with a drunk! They don’t understand or hear what you are saying! He finally quit drinking the last 3 years of his life–after I left for 3 days. It still didn’t solve all our problems, but the drinking made them worse. He did the best he knew how–his whole family was broken and dysfunctional. He didn’t have any good examples growing up!
Thx, Mat this is great information!!! God bless you!!