Comments on: If You Hear Him Say This, RUN | Dating Advice for Women by Mat Boggs

By: @Pernikitty

@Pernikitty — Sun, 15 Dec 2024 10:07:44 +0000

In reply to @AllisonMoore-ci6du. These videos tend to appeal when we’re in the mindset of looking for confirmation of a bad relationship, but if you want to give them a chance to step up you also need to look for positive steps towards trust - even small ones for us sometimes are big for them. If he’s not getting any closer at all, and not willing to build trust, yep, time to go.

By: @Kam_926

@Kam_926 — Sun, 15 Dec 2024 06:08:37 +0000

Thx, Mat this is great information!!! God bless you!!

By: @dianethompson6804

@dianethompson6804 — Sun, 15 Dec 2024 04:18:04 +0000

My late husband, when he was drinking, used to say”quit your nagging or I’ll go down town and drink every night”. Instead of 3 notes a week. I did quit talking cause it’s impossible to communicate with a drunk! They don’t understand or hear what you are saying! He finally quit drinking the last 3 years of his life–after I left for 3 days. It still didn’t solve all our problems, but the drinking made them worse. He did the best he knew how–his whole family was broken and dysfunctional. He didn’t have any good examples growing up!

By: @Cooniez

@Cooniez — Sun, 15 Dec 2024 03:57:06 +0000

Wow. I've definitely heard the "No one else would put up with you..." line. Guess someone else was willing to

By: @susanstewart5194

@susanstewart5194 — Sun, 15 Dec 2024 01:55:58 +0000

I have been married a long time. As I listen to this, I realize that my husband has said so much of this crap, often verbatim, over the years and is still doing it.

By: @OceanLove

@OceanLove — Sun, 15 Dec 2024 00:48:18 +0000

In a shouting voice, “I am NOT YELLING at you!!”

By: @ericataney

@ericataney — Sun, 15 Dec 2024 00:16:19 +0000

1. Fixed Mindset: “This is just the way I am” or “I’m not good at talking about my feelings” (Implying that those are unchangeable/unmodifiable traits that he’s unwilling to improve & you just have to accept)
2. Let’s just agree to disagree
3. “If you REALLY cared about me, you’d…” (manipulative)
4. “You shouldn’t feel that way” (dismissive)
5. “It’s not that big of a deal” (dismissive)
6. “Nobody else would put up with you the way I do” 🤨
7. Victim mindset: “Why does this always happen to me?” “You don’t understand how hard things are for me.”
8. Emotional victim phrases: “You’re pissing me off!” “You’re making me so mad!” “I can’t be happy because of you!” “I wouldn’t act like this if you…” “You made me do it!”(blaming others, refusing accountability)
9. Gaslighting:
“You’re just too sensitive” “Everyone else agrees with me” (bandwagoning) “After everything I’ve done for you…” (guilt tripping)
10. Name-calling, labeling: “drama queen” “you’re so selfish” “you’re pathetic” or “you’re a nag”
**Keep in mind that a narcissist will PROVOKE, LIE, STEAL, MANIPULATE or even hide items from you & others to the point where a normal healthy person is so frustrated, exhausted and upset that they may exhibit a ‘red flag’ which is typically out of character, so the narcissist can then blame THEM.

By: @Illuminatedperfume

@Illuminatedperfume — Sat, 14 Dec 2024 23:34:21 +0000

Thank you Mat! What was super helpful with the video is how to respond when someone says these phrases, that’s the piece I personally am working on, thus appreciate the examples so much!

By: @tinap8227

@tinap8227 — Sat, 14 Dec 2024 23:23:02 +0000

Crazy that my ex did all of these, I’ll admit I resorted to a couple myself in the victim one. I was so blind.

By: @DivestedConfessions

@DivestedConfessions — Sat, 14 Dec 2024 21:38:03 +0000

In reply to @AllisonMoore-ci6du. Walk. HE’S the prob. He’s lying.