Is He Pushing You Away? Here’s Why | Relationship Advice for Women by Mat Boggs
Mat Boggs shares dating advice for women and Is He Pushing You Away? Here's Why
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As a sought-after dating and relationship coach for women and international speaker, Mat Boggs has helped thousands of women understand men, improve their relationships, and attract the relationship they want.
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Directed and Editing By: Alexis Garcia
Written By: Mathew Boggs
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Dating Advice For Women
Relationship Advice For Women
Relationship Coach For Women
Dating Coach For Women
Dating, Relationships, understanding men, Dating Advice, Love Advice Relationship Advice, How Men Think, What Men Want, What attracts men, How to attract a man, how to create lasting love, how to know if he likes you, signs your man likes you.
This video offers a great insight into why someone might be pushing us away and how to move past it. It’s an empowering concept that can help us create peace in confusing moments.
“Your job is not to change them. Your job is to notice.”
FREAKING OATH!! Thank you for putting that so brilliantly Mat.
Noticing and pointing it out will be enough for them to take notice and then change. I’ve been searching for a long time how to describe this and you’ve put it into one sentence. Thank you!
Hi Mat, thank you so much for clarifying the attachment styles. I have just had to let go of an amazing man who I would have been happy to spend the rest of my life with. Yes, very painful and it felt like unrequited love, a cruel departure in fact. He ended up pushing me away. I just couldn’t ignore my feelings and just be his friend.So thank you for clarifying things. I’m really hoping for a secure attachment with an amazing man one day. Thank you.
WOW! I needed to hear this. Thank you so much. I was asking myself what I could have done better, but it is his attachment style. I am definitely secure and had an amazing childhood. His childhood was very rough and he and his siblings talk about it every time they get together. It’s heartbreaking. I’ve been supportive, a great listener, etc, but he has to be the one to fix it. Eye opening!
Wow that’s interesting. I’ve had every single one of these attachment styles for the reasons you mentioned. It takes some work but thank God stuff like this can be overcome.
Get coached by Mat Boggs today: https://www.bravethinkinginstitute.com/love-relationships/resources/mym/offer/strategy-session?div=lr&utm_source=YouTube&utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=MYM_EVG&utm_content=CNT_video
Good day sir! Thank you for all your inspiring videos. Can I ask? How to handle LDR (long distance relationshiop)? Thank you and God bless!
I definitely have the avoidant attachment style. Super independent and rely on no one. I have a hard time getting close to people and have a low threshold for running when there’s a bump in a relationship. Thank you for the great explanations!
I had an anxious attachment style and it landed me in a 16-year marriage to a covert narcissist 😕. I started therapy to become a better partner and eventually became strong and healthy enough to leave. Looking forward to having a more balanced relationship next time.
Same 😓 long marriage now over with but not before being woken up to why I landed that person in the first place 😓
Now becoming more secure each day 🙌🏼
I have never made a relationship work. I realised a long time ago that it was me, but I could never put my finger on why my relationships fell apart. I had an alcoholic mother and a distant stepfather, and I spent some time in local authority care. I had only myself to rely on, and I tended to develop relationships with married men because if he got too close, I got scared, and it was easy to break things off. I need to work on myself and heal.
May your wounds heal! Wish you blessed, happy days! ❤
I find myself a bit in the disorganised group. Father left, mother leaned on me – a young teen, and now I feel I have to be responsible for me and my potential partner. That’s why I’m looking for someone who will be compatible enough for me not to worry they are dirty, stinky, saying embarrassing things etc. The more responsible partner, the calmer I am. But the twist is I have romantic feelings for the crazier ones… 🙄 I guess the toxic patterns follow us till the end.
This was an amazing video Matt. Thank you so much. A light has illuminated my darkness…. I have finally understood.
This video Matt, so hits home with me. I had tears running down my face the whole way through. I’m pretty sure you had a similar video awhile back but, this one hit deeper yet. I truly believe a have a bit of all of these attachment issues and does stem way back to my parents…absolutely. I don’t like the way things are tumbling down on me at the moment.
Was nice to hear about a man getting some help. Rare I think.
I for the most part, now, am in the secure attachment style. I previously was the insecure/anxious style. But that developed from being in a 20+yr toxic relationship. Prior I definitely was secure.
My bf of 6 yrs is avoidance style. I’m sure his childhood played into it as he was second oldest and had to ‘help’ feed the family. But his past serious relationships played a part too. He pushed me away once because I scared him. He had never met someone like me and he was scared because he couldn’t figure me out. But we have long since moved past that and understand each other very well.
What an amazing and helpful explanation for not only your persons attachment style but recognising your own. I realized by listening to you that I recognized my own attachment style. It gives you a whole new perspective of why so many relationships fall apart. Thank you so much! 🥰
You are so welcome!
Repeat with me: “your job is not to change them”. Maybe we finally stop behaving like nurses.
💯
Hi Mat, great video, thank you!
Anxious attachment, and it makes sense now that I watch your video. The way we were raised has a big impact in how we are and act when we get into a relationship. Great content.
Mat, this is the most valuable 11 minutes anyone can spend on this topic! I’d like to think I have a secure attachment style, not because I was raised in a loving home with healthy relationships but because I’ve worked hard for many years to change what had become probably the third combined attachment stye. Between my parents and my 30+ years in a subtly toxic relationship, I was a mess! Had it been a more toxic relationship I would have left much earlier, but he seemed to know just how far he could go without pushing me over the edge. Now I simply will not be with anyone who does not also have a secure attachment stye, because I know no matter how hard I have worked it would be so easy to slip back into the anxious, avoidant patterns from the past. I’d rather live in peace alone than in turmoil with someone else.
Thank you for saying this. I usually cringe at every video I’ve seen that introduces attachment style. There are a lot of things people go through and habits they have. Someone could be a hard drinker because of their childhood. But they have to want to change. I’ve seen so many comments around YouTube that say things like “he doesn’t call. He runs away every week and I can’t find him. I’m trying really hard because he’s obviously an avoidant attachment style so I’m trying not to trigger that by putting too much pressure on him.” Cringe, cringe, cringe. Always stand by your standards. That’s what would make him aware and give him incentive to change.
I believe im anxious and have been trying to work on it!
Me too…Matt I feel I belong to the anxious attachment style am aware and am consciously working on myself while my sp belongs to the avoidant attachment style…I love him very much and wish to help him understand this! Is it ok to tell him about his attachment style so he can be aware of it and work on it and there by save our relationship?
Thank you for spreading information about this. It’s so important. In my 40’s reviewing the 3 primary relationships I’ve been in the one similarity in each of them, ironically, was that each of them experienced a dramatic divorce between their parents at 13/14 that created the exact dynamic you explained with one of their parents clinging and one running. Amazingly, I have a secure attachment style and had to process that it was the maternal nature that caused them to cling to me but have anxiety due to the fact that in each case it was their mother that suddenly ended the family they grew up with as a child.