Red Flags in a Relationship: 7 Signs You CANNOT Ignore | Relationship Advice for Women by Mat Boggs
Mat Boggs shares dating advice for women and Red Flags in a Relationship: 7 Signs You CANNOT Ignore
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Mat Boggs Bio:
As a sought-after dating and relationship coach for women and international speaker, Mat Boggs has helped thousands of women understand men, improve their relationships, and attract the relationship they want.
As the best-selling author of Project Everlasting, and creator of Cracking The Man Code, Mat Boggs? dating and relationship advice has been featured on national media including The Today Show, CNN, Headline News, Oprah and Friends, and many more.
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Written By: Mathew Boggs
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Dating Advice For Women
Relationship Advice For Women
Relationship Coach For Women
Dating Coach For Women
Dating, Relationships, understanding men, Dating Advice, Love Advice Relationship Advice, How Men Think, What Men Want, What attracts men, How to attract a man, how to create lasting love, how to know if he likes you, signs your man likes you.
Some of the best advice from a friend of ten years “Don’t be TOO understanding.” Yes! ❤ Thanks, Mat for this content. So important to know going into a relationship. If I would hsve been able to see this video many years ago…😮❤
I wouldn’t go on a second date with men who complain about their ex. The first date is always special and it’s time to enjoy the moment together.
Insulting my intelligence, telling me they are the only person who can tolerate my “drama”, using things I have shared as ammunition so my own words are thrown into my face.
Thank you, Matt, this video helped me a lot! I would add two more red flags: jealousy, or basic misstrust, as well as sexual /social discrimination.
I just broke up with a guy who saw a sexual invitation in every smile I gave any male, no matter the context of the conversation. It took him some time to say anything but I could read his body language and got his negative nonverbal signs right before we had our first confronting conversation about that. And it got even worse, as soon as I mentioned a word about anythig related to any of my previous relationships. I’m almost fifty years old, and have some baggage of experience, I stand to it all, and have nothing to hide or be ashamed of. However, this man would prefer me pretending to be a blank sheet of paper…. Further more, I was shocked to hear from him in a conversation about social help networks that victims of rape were all themselves to blame. It took me almost half a year to realise that there can be no future for me with that guy, no matter how romantic and lovegiving he was. I wish I hadn’t dated him that long.
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Do you think ignoring these red flags will lead to being a victim of abuse, provided that the partner is prone to domestic abuse, or is it considered maladaptive behavior?
i love your speches 😅😂
Just entered a new relationship and am still learning about my partner and dating occasionally so I haven’t noticed any of these signs… But I see a few in myself. So I’m here to learn how to leave those bad habits behind and grow as a person so I can be the best that I can for him.
self-aware, insightful and genuine, you are a beautiful soul.
Same 😅
They are unwilling to compromise, so everything always has to be the way they’re used to doing it or from their perspective. Also, they avoid having the difficult conversations.
This can be used for your friendships as well.
Yea this can also apply in the family relationship too.
Competes with me in everything and has to be the winner.
These red flags SO describe my ex. Thanks for the reminder to flip these and concentrate on the green lights so we attract who we do want to share our life with. Appreciate you, Mat, and your very useful videos!
hi mat, thank you for your advice, i have been following your advice since last year, I overcame my traumatic because of my past relationship, i tried to ignore guys who gave me the red flags, now i found the love of my live, and finally I got married, and it’s wonderful i believe that love is still exist ❤️ . keep doing this kindness matt, it’s very important for the girl to know your channel 😊.
spread ❤️
7 Red Flags In Relationships
1. Your partner is quick to get defensive.
2. The rules don’t apply to your partner.
3. White lies.
4. He’s over critical and subtly critical.
5. He’s a bad sport when he’s doing something you want to do.
6. He minimizes your wins.
7. He cannot be with your unhappiness.
Clearly these describe a narcissist. If you meet one, back away. Quickly or slowly, back away. No. RUN AWAY.
mine would allways suddenly claim to have a stomach ache etc. whenever he realised i was happy……however as soon as he saw something which he liked the illeness would dissapear immediatelly, it was a pattern, so glad i got away.
A covert narcissist won’t show you any of these signs until he got you instead he will give you love bombing which is a red flag as well
Omg. I’ve been married 39 years and my husband is EVERYONE of these things
@@Tessymarie1 wow. How have you dealt with his attitudes? Are you happy?
@@Tessymarie1 Jesus Loves You so much May You feel His Peace which superseeds All Things. He also invites You to trust Him and speak to Him any Time about anything You want. 😘🕊
Actually finding this super helpful to figure out what I need to work on in myself before my next relationship (white lies, self-esteem, etc)
The person who is always busy most of the times I need him most!
Just sent this video to my daughter she’s in a relationship and it falls under every single one of these I told her to leave him now before it goes to far
Mat…thank you so much for sharing these. I am a smart woman, a health care provider who feels so confident with helping to advocate for my patients, friends & family…but advocating for myself, especially with matters of the heart, was a strength I had not yet learned to embody. Now thankfully it is a new skillset I am evolving within myself.
My ex-husband had 3 out of these 7…and boy did they wear on me (plus a few others). I was constantly unsure whether I was seeing red flags or if I was being too ‘ready to run away’ from the relationship bc of fear.
-he was the ultimate bad boy, but made it sound like he was ready to grow up…which we both figured out, in time, wasn’t the case. I love how you frame this…if he’s willing to break the rules for small stuff he’ll be willing to break the rules for big stuff also…yup, I found that out the hard way.
-he flat out lied about important questions I asked him early on…and then eventually when he did tell me the truth, I soon realized they were only half truths. In 1 phone conversation, I found him in 4 lies/half truths and each time I called him out he used another half truth to try to cover up..and on and on! And then he got pissed off at me for calling him out each time. This one took about 3 years for me to realize (while we were in the process of divorcing or getting back together) …it’s hard to know something is a lie…until you do…
-and whenever I was having an emotionally yucky day…sad, mad, etc…he would get super angry and huffy…he always said that he hated seeing the people he loved hurting…but in the end it always became about calming HIS anger and rage and my emotional needs became unimportant…even to my own self!
….gosh as I list these, I’m blown away by how I stayed so long…how I gave him the benefit of the doubt over my own gut (and boy my gut would YELL at me for some of these)…I would focus on the good, the amazing stuff and ignore the red flags…it all seemed to creep up slowly & infrequently …and then when my heart was so attached the frequency of the red flags became more & more and eventually when I hit a wall…I threw up my own white flag and called it quits…quite in opposition to my heart.
Another red flag…
-he made major decisions about our time together/whether to fulfill my needs, based on his family’s input or their needs. For example he missed my bday and bday party (my 1st bday with him) so that his sister and her kids could drop him off to be with me at my beach rental, the next day….so they could get beach time in….that was at our 6 month point…and looking back I should have turned them away when they finally showed up and said, sorry, too little too late…but I sucked it up. And this was a few months after we missed his sister-in-laws bday, bc we were away. He was freaked out that we missed it and was adamant that we’d have to make it up and take her out for dinner….!!! Yet, it was OK to miss his own partners bday…yikes, I was blinded by oxytocin, for sure!! And the final straw was during covid…my mom had stage 4 metastatic cancer and needed to be on o2 all the time. We both wanted to be able to see our families and friends…so I asked him to wear a mask around anyone who wasn’t me so I could safely see my mom…I thought that was pretty reasonable…turns out he didn’t think it was reasonable and lied about it for 6 months. When I called him out on it he just kept saying he didn’t take my needs seriously (well, thats pretty obvious, i thought to myself…and he had no reason why except that he didnt want to make anyone ELSE feel uncomfortable)…and it wasn’t until his sister told him it was OK that he wore a mask around everyone that he was ready to ‘submit’ (my word) to my needs…that’s when I decided to sleep on my next decision…woke up the next day and told him to leave. Boy was that hard…and easy. Easy bc I felt so betrayed…but hard bc I loved him (or rather the idea of who I wanted him to be) so much and really wanted HIM to be the man I would grow old with.
The blessing and curses of the wonderful oxytocin…and…of what I’ve learned were so many underlying beliefs that I held about my worthiness of love…
Some days I still miss him bc there truly were A LOT of wonderful times together, shared loves, decades of knowing each other from a far, similar dreams…and then I remember the reality of our true fit, our contributions to each other and the relationship…and I realize I made the absolute right choice to MOVE ON. Now I know that next time, I need to be slower, more discerning and listen to my gut.
Thank you so much for this video & list…having a concrete list to refer to for external validation of my inner voice as I learn how to listen, is so very reaffirming and helps me to feel confident in my interperetations of the new inner language I’m growing more and more accustomed to.
With much gratitude, thank you.
Thanks for sharing this. I can relate to some points. I usually don’t read the super long comments, but did this time. Wish you healing and greater insight/strength as you move forward with hard-earned lessons to create a better future for yourself.
Inability to say sorry and also the silent treatment during the pain. There’s a difference between being present with someone during times of pain, and giving them the silent treatment because it’s an inconvenience.
Deflection is another red flag in my experience. Always redirecting the conversation away from the issue they are contributing too, or have directly created due to words and actions or inactions.
I’ve just walked away from a guy after 3 months of dating because of this. He used to be late all the time (sometimes up to 3 hours) and not say sorry.’ I didn’t realise how bad things could get until he got upset about my phone being off, refused to talk to me without telling me why, ignored me on my birthday which was really hurtful for me, gave me silent treatment for 2 weeks, then called to confront me without owning up to his behaviour, evading any attempts from me to understand why he was upset. He cut the call and ghosted me! Ouch. It’s taught me just how crucial healthy communication skills are. Without it a relationship is destined to fail. It’s a shame, but the level of vengefulness and inability to say sorry/ take accountability was a deal breaker for me, I felt unsafe and it had a huge impact on me. As much as I believe grace is important and people can change, I also have to take responsibility for what is mine which is that my health, wellbeing and happiness matter greatly. I deserve to be treated well and with respect as much as I seek to treat others well and respect them
They can’t apologize. Or if they do, it’s not to own it and tell you how they can address it. They just say something like “I’m sorry that you feel that way.”
They run hot and cold. One moment they love you. The next they want to pick an argument and they can’t be reached. That’s usually someone who has other options they’re spending time with, whether early dating or after they claim they’re being exclusive
They don’t want to compromise. It feels like they are playing chess with you, waiting to yell, “ check mate! I win! “ it feels like they’re trying to win by not giving something you want. They will even do it with something simple. Like, you ask them to do something for you and they always to have an excuse ready.
This goes hand in hand with the previous. They don’t really seem bothered by disappointing you. The have a lot of “but” excuses. Yet they don’t honestly seem bothered or try to make it up to you.
Looking in hindsight, a lot of these red flags were in my relationship. What few times we would be around my family and friends, he would say things to embarrass me. If someone wronged me, he would side with the other person. Many times he would say he was being an ahole on purpose. He would try to tear me down as a form of control. When I left him, it was one of the best things I ever did.
And he probably told everyone at the end it was your fault so he would look like the good person
@@jacquelyndrossart2091
Probably but at the end of the day who really cares what he says
purposely embarrassing you should be on this list!
What a jerk! Glad you’re free of that.
@@shannonmcgill8206
Humiliation….why do people do that ?
You just gave huge information, saw all of this in my previous marriage. Now I know!