The Secret for Dealing with Difficult In-Laws | Relationship Advice for Women by Mat Boggs
Mat Boggs shares relationship advice for women and the secret for dealing with difficult in-laws.
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How do you deal with difficult in-laws?
The frustration here is REAL.
It can sometimes feel like there’s no solution to difficult in-laws. But believe me, there are a few great ones!
You don’t have to choose between dealing with his difficult family or saying goodbye to the love of your life forever.
Watch this video and get some insights into what makes the difference between awful in-law tension and happily ever after.
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Mat Boggs Bio:
As a sought-after dating and relationship coach for women and international speaker, Mat Boggs has helped thousands of women understand men, improve their relationships, and attract the relationship they want.
As the best-selling author of Project Everlasting, and creator of Cracking The Man Code, Mat Boggs? dating and relationship advice has been featured on national media including The Today Show, CNN, Headline News, Oprah and Friends, and many more.
Mat's Mission: To increase love in the world, one heart at a time.
As a dating coach for women, Mat believes that your history does not determine your destiny, and that you are more powerful than any circumstance you are facing. The relationship dream in your heart really can become the life you love living!
Mat Boggs highly acclaimed relationship programs have served women around the world in all age groups.
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Directed and Editing By: Luke Dejoras
Written By: Mathew Boggs
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“thank you for your input”
“thank you for your feedback”
“thank you for sharing”
the best !
I definitely need to remember #3. My MIL doesn’t take “No, thank you” from her own son. My husband and I find that distancing ourselves and doing what we feel is best for our little family is the better than getting into arguments.
In my experienced I never had problems in dealing with my inlaws..They loved me so much..They were proud of me being their daughter inlaw..
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If a man loves his woman.
He won’t let anyone disrespect her or his relationship. That’s how I see it.
They need to detox away any negativity in order to last together.
Lol oh boy. I had the mother inlaw from hell. Father inlaw was a sweet man. I avoided her and made my husband deal with her.
She was bossy, nosey, always trying to take control, always critical, and never shut up.
We moved to get further away from her.
I knew after years of trying to deal with her aka talk to her, that I was going to explode on her so that’s why I let her son deal with her. He did a piss poor job of it.
Our marriage did not last.
Now, I have the best mother inlaw anyone could ask for.
Good advice for any kind of relationship.
Not just limited to romantic or in-laws.
Thanks Mat. Beyond in-laws, surround yourself and your loved ones in a bubble of pink. Tranquility. Above and below. Stay calm. Repeat, quietly to yourself, cancel, delete and affirm who you are. Soon as you are out of the experience do something really good for yourself and your loved ones. Bless all including those who intended harm. Kindness works. Boost your positive vibrations and your immune system.. Feb. 6. 22.
I love your advice here! It is excellent!! Now I am responding to your request for our feedback. I had a very difficult MIL! It was very easy to get angry with her! But after a while I decided to – rather than get angry at her – to have pity on her!! I thought about how hard it must be to live in her skin!! To be always making trouble! To live without the love and respect of one’s family! To always be having to deal with the consequences of her bad behavior!! When I started looking at her with pity instead of anger – it made a huge difference in me and how I related to her. It helped me to be able to cope.
It’s sad that I put an innocent genuine reply on here to Mat – and you guys are putting weird stuff on here.
I think setting boundaries needs to be a big addition to this advice. It’s so difficult thought.
Just one of the best videos you ever made, Mat. Deep concepts to implement on all our relationships, within relatives, in laws or outsiders. Thank you for that!!👌
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Mat, have you ever encountered a narcissist?
If insisting their behavior isn’t a problem (after you have explained your boundaries) is their “best”, RUN! Also, a man isn’t “perfect” if he hasn’t told his mother to butt out or stop her behavior. He’s either a narc himself or he hasn’t stepped back and actually evaluated his mother’s behavior.
Your kindness is going to be fuel to them, so they will keep being horrid because they know you will be kind. The nicer you are, the meaner they will be. They will be mean to you just for the fuel.
When you set a boundary, explicitly explaining you don’t want their unsolicited advice and they persist, they are attempting to control you. The more you allow them to speak, the more they will say.
“His mother? OMG” <- red flag.
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Good point about narcissists. It’s no good to just be treating them with love. Firm boundaries required here
I got a narcissistic mother myself and it’s true, it’s better to run away than to face them everytime
@@tiffannyyu Agreed! Going “no contact” is one of the best defenses against a narc. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that ❤
Sounds like Matt didn’t have a narcissist in his family. They can eat you for dinner. These suggestions sound “nice”, but I think this is a much more complicated issue.
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Good point. I totally agree
As a teacher I employ these with difficult students and it is very effective. In addition I read about brain research that said to smile genuinely including your eyes. It will help the difficult person but also give you the brain chemicals that are positive to help you feel more positive about that person. I do that every morning when I greet students and that has helped me. Also, the strategies sometimes change the person you find difficult as if pops the chip off their shoulder. Great advice as always, Mat.
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I consider being kind and patient to my mother in law as acts of love for my husband. He is always loving on me and really feels my love for him this way.
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Then why are you watching videos like this one, I bet you secretly hate your mother-in-law. 🤣
So you think it’s okay to just let your in laws sh*t all over you? I think it’s better to teach them to respect you, no one should tolerate bad behavior from anyone. Also your husband should talk to his parents, and tell them that if they want the two of you to be a part of their life then they treat you with the upmost respect that’s what a loving husband would do and a real man would do.
My ex-husband and I got divorced after 9 months of marriage because of I was not able to survive my in-laws. I truly hope this content will help me with my future relationship.
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“If they knew better they would do better” – Its such a kind and empathetic way of viewing the world, but I’d like to offer an alternative view.
I would disagree with the idea that when people behave badly it’s because they don’t know any better. How many people know they shouldn’t eat junk food regularly, but still do? Know they should move more regularly? Know they shouldn’t drink lots but still do? Know they should study more, but watch TV instead? So why do people do these things? Because it’s hard to go against your emotion and show self control. But that’s what character is.
Character is doing the right thing rather than the easy thing.
In my experience with difficult in laws – the issue was they were selfish to their own needs and desires and were used to being in a position of control. Rather than showing character and accepting things couldn’t be the way they wanted all the time – they chose to attempt to assert themselves or act in ways that were passive aggressive.
I totally agree that these people might be in a lower more fear based state of consciousness. But consciousness is a result of choices. Even if we don’t understand that choices lower or raise our consciousness, we do have a basic understanding of right and wrong. Being pleasant and unpleasant. Negative and positive choices. So when people make negative choices, they are making a choice. A choice to do the negative. That’s where their level of consciousness comes from.
There are many people who have been born into extremely negative circumstances, but had the character to make good choices.
It’s not knowledge that elevates us; it’s doing what we know inside is right – even if it is hard – time and time again.
Thank you so much for your comments here. I agree too.
That is so powerful! Thank you. The person I deal with is passive aggressive and controls me. I think accountability is needed sometimes, but I have too much to lose so I do everything Matt says!
@@easygoing6397 thanks so much for your reply.
@@lesliegoodman8774 thank you. It’s so tough, isn’t it. Passive aggression can be such a form of control.
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Perfect post. I work with someone like that. They have an absolutely abysmal life, created by themselves and always create chaos and drama around them.
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1. They’re Giving You The Best They Can 3:26
2. Detach Your Kindness From Their Response 6:45
3. Appreciating Feedback Doesn’t Equal Implementing Feedback 10:33
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