Why do guys NEVER choose you?

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• That’s true and not true beauty is the first thing a man notices but you can ruin it with a bad attitude.

  I actually think allot of good men are just not interested in modern women and have decided it’s not worth the risk to even try.

• Here's something that's not discussed that often - guys also ignore women who they think are too good looking or "out of their league" for them. Now, you might argue its a bad idea to operate on the belief that "leagues" exist, but its not whether objective beauty exists or not, its that our experience shows most women do behave differently/badly towards people who they think are not conventionally attractive. If someone is like an 8 or 9, we would be behaving on the assumption that they are already taken and/or not interested in us peasants. Even if they do compliment on our looks/fashion which might be their idea of "flirting", we will still be inclined to assume they are simply being nice to us and that's the culture around here. Even if they drop obvious hints and explicitly state their interest, our knee jerk reaction would be to assume they are pulling a prank on us. I had a woman on FB who was flirting with me for more than a year, i kept ignoring because i took all of her hints for simply being nice to everyone, and i didn't have a reference to tell how she behaved with her friends. It was only after a year she explicitly told me she was trying to pursue me and complained i "rejected" her. In reality, i wasn't even aware what was actually going on. I wasn't really paying close attention and assumed thats how people behave in a friendly manner. I've also heard from other women that they casually flirt with anyone in a non-serious manner...so as men, its hard to tell who's being serious and who's playing with us.

  • To me, sounds like you weren't interested in her cuz when you are, you KNOW w/o a doubt she's flirting with you.. thoughts?

  • @@phabeondominguez5971 That's certainly not true. I never paid much attention to her, and that was mainly because I never thought of the possibility of her being interested in me. So I didn't explore my feelings for her. After she told me she was interested in me, I started exploring that possibility. I started heavily flirting with her after that and we were kind of in an LDR for few months before it fizzled out ( mostly because there wasn't any possibility for me to close the gap in the immediate future). I know she still has feelings for me ( she mentioned she wouldn't be able to ever get over me) and I also wouldn't mind going there if I ever get the opportunity. Sometimes you meet the right people but at the wrong place and time. Such is life.

  • @@Ghostrider-ul7xn hmm, ur opening line literally confirms what I stated.. regardless of the reason, you were NOT into her, but where if you had been, you definitely would have noticed the signs.. but yes, such is life.. for me, 18yrs down the drain, lost it all, beautiful wife, "mansion" in the 'burbs, 3 lil miracles.. an now Iive ALONE, in a shoebox ans only see my miracles on weekends.. a year of heartbreak and sorrow.. and now 2yrs in, without me attempting, love is somehow finding me.. ladies keep doin the eye dance with me and it's only now that i realize, they are waiting on me to make the move..

  • @@phabeondominguez5971 Your assessment is incorrect here. I did fancy her before, I just didn't even think of the possibility of she being interested in me and interpreted her behavior as simply being friendly. The same behavior can be interpreted as flirty or friendly depending on the woman, so I defaulted to the assumption of being friendly to err on the safe side.

  • @@Ghostrider-ul7xn my friend, plain and simple, you were not truly into her, sure you fancied her, but because you tagged her as being beyond your level you "talked yourself out" of truly liking her.. so when she threw attention your way you missed it.. because she was not fully on your radar.. thats my takeaway from what your saying here, ans countless examples of this from others as well. Girl x was throwing signs my way but I missed em.. WHY? because I thought she was above my league is what they universally answer.. feel me? NOW moving on.. you seem like a solid dude, what self help books you recommend?