7 “NICE GIRL” Habits ALL WOMEN Must Break! | Relationship Advice for Women by Mat Boggs
Mat Boggs shares relationship advice for women and 7 "nice girl" habits all women must break!
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Let's talk about "NICE GIRL" habits that give men the wrong impression.
Your new man doesn’t see these overly “nice” behaviors as a positive sign. He sees them as proof that you don’t respect yourself enough.
Want to find out if you’re being too nice? I'm sharing the top 7 nice girl habits with you today, so you can recognize them and move away from giving the impression that you’re anything less than the beautiful, powerful woman you are.
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Mat Boggs Bio:
As a sought-after dating and relationship coach for women and international speaker, Mat Boggs has helped thousands of women understand men, improve their relationships, and attract the relationship they want.
As the best-selling author of Project Everlasting, and creator of Cracking The Man Code, Mat Boggs? dating and relationship advice has been featured on national media including The Today Show, CNN, Headline News, Oprah and Friends, and many more.
Mat's Mission: To increase love in the world, one heart at a time.
As a dating coach for women, Mat believes that your history does not determine your destiny, and that you are more powerful than any circumstance you are facing. The relationship dream in your heart really can become the life you love living!
Mat Boggs highly acclaimed relationship programs have served women around the world in all age groups.
If you’re interested in receiving help attracting love or improving your relationship click here:
Directed and Editing By: Luke Dejoras
Written By: Mathew Boggs
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Relationship Advice For Women
Relationship Coach For Women
Dating Coach For Women
Dating, Relationships, understanding men, Dating Advice, Love Advice Relationship Advice, How Men Think, What Men Want, What attracts men, How to attract a man, how to create lasting love, how to know if he likes you, signs your man likes you.
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When I was dating my now husband, I remember telling him clearly that I didn’t believe in sex before marriage and that if he disagreed with that, he needed to think about whether he wanted to continue dating me because I wasn’t going to be bending the rules. He never had any girl tell him that before. It helped that we had already established a friendship but he said he had no choice in the matter (I was my own boss). He respected me for standing up for myself and told me so. I never went out of my way to force someone to like me; it never felt right. The more I stuck to my standards, the more quality men I attracted. There are too many boys out there in need of training but we ain’t their mommas; it’s not our job to train them into gentlemen.
I got married to the guy that I had sex with on the second date. 😂 We were married for 16 years.
Each to their own.
@@Raquel-jv1hi the point is stick to your standards whatever they be. As long as you do that, you’re golden.
Amen!
Join the *Manifest Your Man* program and get *coached by Mat Boggs TODAY* : https://www.bravethinkinginstitute.com/love-relationships/resources/mym/offer/strategy-session
This is not just about attraction. This is about respect. If you respect yourself, he will have to respect you to keep you. You teach people how to treat you. You can be kind and still be assertive.
I can attest to all of this: I’ve never been a “nice girl” and always said no when I didn’t felt comfortable to do something. I never had problems dating or getting a guy’s interest.
I would also add this: if you show interest and he becomes colder he is either: (i) not that interested; (ii) trying to manipulate you. Pull back and he’ll come running back, but girl, it’s not worth it.
To sum it up: don’t be a doormat. Solid advice for both men and women.
This is gold!!!!!!! I always had boundaries in my younger years, but because of age I relaxed them and exhibited some of these behaviors mentioned in this video to keep the peace.
Let me tell you, I ended up in the worst relationship of my life and I’m 37. He had absolutely no respect for me or the relationship. Every women needs to listen to this..multiple times!
Thanks for sharing….God bless you with the right one 🙋🙏
We are living in a sad world ,when it’s considered to be ” bad” when you are just a kindhearted ,helpful person 😔
I think we can be kind hearted and spontaneous with other women but with men it’s a different story.
Being kind hearted is totally different than what he described. Jumping into bed before you are ready isn’t being ‘nice’.
You are on the right track and this video is wrong.
It is not your job to manage the guys’ self esteem.
You go on your dating journey and be kind, be nice. Be you. Be authentic. Learn from your mistakes and grow as you go. Treat men with respect and allow them to treat you with respect.
If you are nice and he can’t handle it, it’s not because you have low self-esteem. It’s because he has low self-esteem.
(sigh)
People-pleasing isn’t always just “a lack of confidence” though, in many cases it is something developed as a response to childhood trauma. Kids abandoned may become overly pleasing because they are desperate for someone to love them (they feel unlovable). Kids who are abused (physically, mentally, emotionally etc…) need to become “empaths” and always pick up on others’ upset feelings, needs/desires and try to make them happy, because growing up they had to keep their abusive families happy, otherwise they would be beaten or have other bad things said or done to them. And sexually abused kids struggle most of all with extreme people-pleasing and struggle with saying no to sexual situations, they don’t know how to set boundaries- and let’s be honest here, so many men are super pushy when women do set boundaries and make it difficult to say no, because they continue to try to talk you into sex after youve said no and come up with all kinds of reasons, yet they just don’t stop. It can be understandable if someone has been hurt in the past they may be scared and give in more easily and be over pleasing/accomodating. I am not saying there may not be some women who just enjoy sex though and simply want to. But he seems to miss this big point that people-pleasing and lack of good boundaries is usually from trauma in childhood (which affects 30% of the US population was abused as kids). They are just so used to people-pleasing everyone, they end up with people who are users /not good for them often too. I think the best advice would be to tell them to go to therapy and work on their issues first. Then they truly can break free of people pleasing or as you call it “nice girl syndrome”… just my 2 cents on the topic.
You are right in most ways, only the rate of abuse is wayy higher!! In most cases 70%
Not to discredit this, but describing the cause of low self confidence doesn’t mean that it’s not low self confidence. Knowing the why doesn’t negate the point he made.
The video is eye open ending and the behaviors I want to grow towards. I agree that soul searching and some healing first is very necessary for many women.
Yep. Try saying no to a hike after saying no 5 times
@@baaro-v2x I agree with you. 👍
This is exactly what I need someone to tell me! I’m confident and attractive to many guys when I’m single, but as soon as I start a relationship, I dimish myself in many ways!!! Let’s break all those 7 bad habits! Thank you so much Matt.
*diminish
Oh did that too!!
yes break them
So freakin true for me too
I’m sure Mat’s intention generally is for women to do their inner work via his teachings, and this is overall solid advice. My only issue with it is the complete lack of mentioning of the deeper-seated factors usually responsible for such a behavior in a woman — like the fact that women who behave in the way described in this video are typically doing so out of a profound association with the fawn survival response, which most likely had been picked up early on during the formative years. Make no mistakes — something extraordinarily disturbing has to happen to a person for them to begin operating under the fawn response. This response is commonly associated with Stockholm Syndrome, so there’s that.
And we haven’t even mentioned attachment styles yet… so much of the described in this video has to do with an Anxious attachment style, maybe even a Fearful Avoidant attachment style. Here’s the issue with taking the advice given in the video without doing deeper work: it’s a recipe for heartbreak. I know many women who ARE anxiously attached, and thus ARE genuinely hungry (even desperate) for connection. Because connection with others is their ultimate agenda, these women would do anything to ensure people not leaving them. They would hear the advice in this video and simply mimic it, without attempting to do any deep healing around it. They would take Mat’s description of a self-respecting woman and sell an illusion of themselves being that, misleading the men they’re with into thinking they are one thing… when in reality what they’re about is something entirely different. Then, when one of these men finally finds out how clingy his woman actually is (and secretly has been all along), he will feel misled. A lot of women only reveal their attachment wounds AFTER marriage, when it’s too late for the other person to back out. And you know where it goes from here… heartbreak, divorce, separation.
Instead of simply mimicking this smart advice, I would recommend actually doing DEEP inner attachment work, so that you actually FEEL like you aren’t desperate for a man’s attention, approval or whatever else. Faking it is not enough. If you are operating under the fawn response, constantly “people-pleasing”, it is because you had gone through something disturbingly traumatic during your formative years. Believe me when I say, no one is born dysregulated. Our early traumas are what cause us to misalign. Heal from deeper inside.
I agree with you. People pretend to get what they want but cannot maintain it in the long run because that substance is absent. It’s not about getting it, it is about maintaining it.
I broke down and cried after reading this,God bless you 🙏❤️
Update:dear Annette, I just want to thank you for opening my eyes,ever since I read your comment I decided to do the inner work,it’s really hard to go and look back, digging up all the hurt from my childhood but it has been worth every tear I shed,I’m not healed but I’ve atleast taken the step towards authentic healing and I have you to thank for that,so thank you and God bless you ❤️
@@Meerasfinejewelry same here
Yeah I realize that. He’s talking more about the visible behaviors instead of the underlying causes.
This is great! Yes inner healing is essential(deep inner attachment work )before stepping into the world of dating. It’s not an easy journey but a lot of patience is needed. 🙏🌸
Former “nice girl” here and omg your points are spot on! I used to do all of those in order to feel like I was attracting someone, but all I was doing was hurting myself and ultimately hurt my self worth and self esteem. I took some time away from the dating scene, and recently got back into it. A guy I was interested in just kept bringing up sex constantly and he didn’t respect my boundaries, so I let him go. It took me years to realize my worth, but I don’t want someone like that in my life. I have myself and I have been able to see my worth
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together…….
I have hardly ever seen a nice girl. Women are only nice to Chad and Tyrone… and then cry when getting ignored.
Good for you girl 😁!
Your video is misleading,in many cases untrue and gives poor advice.
Well most men just want sex. This is why most religions forbid pre marital sex. Im following Gods way…they can lead themselves out of my life. I want a godly man who wants to know each others qualities, problems, likes and dislikes, life projects. Not some perv. Those are easy to find anywhere
Guilty as charged. Another important thing is that being “nice” doesn’t make one a “good” person.
In fact, most often, “nice” boys/girls will eventually have a lot of unresolved anger and resentment. We don’t say what we want to say, we don’t prioritize ourselves, we are not assertive even when required….and all of that leads to a weird discomfort building up inside. It makes us vent our anger on someone close to us (our parents, best friends, kids, etc). Or worse, it turns some of us into sociopaths.
This is such an important video for young girls everywhere!
Well said!
Most concisely put comment on the topic I’ve ever seen across several platforms. Reddit needs to hear this lol
So true .
Yes, there is a big difference between “being nice” and “people-pleasing”…. the feeling the need to people please and having a lack of good boundaries can leave you feeling used, resentful, etc….and those doing nice deeds only because then they think the other person will automatically “owe them” is also unhealthy thinking.
You are absolutely right.
I went through a specific issue in the beginning of my relationship with my now 7 years partner. Everyone said “you have to accept this, he is not going to stop it. You are being unrealistic”. I stand back evaluated my values and said: no, I don’t “have to” accept a behavior that hurts me. If this is so important for him, than he is free to go, because it is not the man I want to be with.
For short, know your value, set your boundaries. And if the guy is unwilling to respect you, he is not the guy for you.
Thank you for this perspective. I’m having an issue with my partner of 10 months. Something in my spirit tells me he’s prone to cheating. In my opinion, he enjoys commenting on provocative posts from women on social media entirely too much. He can’t seem to control himself when staring at other women either. I realize men look at other women and that doesn’t make them a cheater…it’s the commenting on posts or staring at women in my presence that tells me he can’t be trusted. I view his behavior as disrespectful, lacking self control, and lacking integrity. That is my belief system and his behavior disgusts me and shows me who he truly is. I don’t feel I can trust anyone who behaves like he does…especially when he sees nothing wrong with what he’s doing.
@@TheCornerofWhymsyAndBlyss you, my friend, have answered your own question. This is 100% unacceptable behavior. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING about what you have said tells me – to tell you – to run. Don’t walk…run. He totally lacks self control. He also thinks this is ok? Wow. Please don’t let anyone, man or woman tell you “you should give him a chance to change.” Nope…don’t. This, my friend…is who he is. I’m sure you know the saying “When a person SHOWS you WHO they are, BELIEVE them….The FIRST time.” (Yes, the FIRST time.)
You must know that this will only get worse down the line and even your GUT is telling you that. So, don’t be afraid to be alone. Better alone, than heartbreak. But if heartbreak was to happen, then you will have no excuse to say it came as a surprise. You saw the signs clearly, but chose to ignore them. Someone like that, I would not give 1 more day of my time. Not romantically at least. The right one is out there who will value YOU. Don’t settle for what you KNOW is not right. Blessings to you my friend. Take care of You. You’re worth it.
@GirlyGirl thank you so much for taking the time to share your encouraging words. I think I needed someone neutral to tell me I wasn’t being ridiculous for being angry about comments on social media. I’m sure I wasn’t expressing myself well enough to make it clear that my issue isn’t social media…it’s his behavior in general. Social media is just the avenue that really allowed me to see his behavior. The worse part of all of this is this man is 54 years old and a father of two daughters ages 21 and 24. I only hope they never encounter men who behave like their father.
@@TheCornerofWhymsyAndBlyss yes, and I’m 51 and I know that if he can’t control the comments on social media, Lord help y’all if he comes in contact with a beautiful woman at the grocery store or at the gas station (lol). (just for chuckles.) Take care.
@@angel9749 count me in!
I am glad you did this video. I always think highly of myself . Just recently I was dating a man and we went out on two dates and he was very upset that I was not willing to be touched and kissed by him . Finally he asked me to have sex. I told him that I don’t encourage in any sex with a person I don’t even know. He never came back So happy I have high expectations for myself and make me frist..
Hello my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we love and happily together, I got help from a great Dr Kelly who brought us back together. and if you need any kind of help he can help you❤️❤️🙏🙏
Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
I love this. I hate how they waste your time though when you made it clear from the beginning. If they’re looking for something else they can definitely find it, they don’t have to trick us. Be up front with what you’re looking for and you’ll find someone looking for the same. Why do they have to hurt others and waste others time to try to get what they want this way? How do you not hate men because of this? Obviously I’m fed up with this behavior and wonder how you take it and not let it get to you. Thanks for sharing!
Charlita Good for you. Men are such jerks! I’ve know only a very few who aren’t.
@@RickRorose you gotta ask smart questions and set boundaries….and look for red flags …I know this is hard for us – women….but we need to be level headed and not emotional….just like men…best of wishes to you!
I’ve rooted out a lot of men by having boundaries. And when I haven’t set boundaries things have felt wrong. So stick to your boundaries, ladies.
Hello my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we love and happily together, I got help from a great Dr Kelly who brought us back together. and if you need any kind of help he can help you❤️❤️🙏🙏
Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
This is so true
@Samson Omiunu If in a forest you meet the same tree twice, you know you have gone the wrong way … So why should people pay money to get back with an ex? An ex is an ex for a reason. No need to prolong something that didn’t work in the first place.
Amen!!
MAAAATTTT….This video is a must see for all single females. It is the holy grail of relationship videos!!! I’ve finally come to learn men don’t get emotionally attached to the physical & sexual attributes as much as they do character & boundaries. Thank you for positioning us for success🔥🔥🔥
Hi sweetie, may I introduce you to the same powerful relationship restorer who helped me win back my ex-fiancée. It can also help you get back with yours and make your relationship blossom forever.
Whatz’app him for help…..
yes a man is like …NEXT afterwards. on to the next piece. It’s a shame but this generation is so into social media sex is everywhere and so available they never get a chance to have a friendship, they move on to the next best thing. I would never change my plans until well into a relationship. If he splits or leaves, bye bye.
Hello To Get back your ex specific person (sp) reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce or bnish third party from your relationship inbox Dr Kelly right away ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏♥️♥️♥️.
Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^.
Put yourself first ! If value yourself , he will value you ! Don’t let him ever put you down .
Hello To Get back your ex specific person (sp) reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce or bnish third party from your relationship inbox Dr Kelly right away ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏♥️♥️♥️
Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
Ladies this is true it’s called being a high value woman, you always put yourself first. you are the one person that you spend your whole life with . “He’s got to earn the right” on point 💯. Great video
@@abdullahiayala7365 was it Matt ?
@Atoo Timothy Aondonenge is it Matt?
Always put my happiness first. Guy has to earn me. Not the other way around
Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
Absolutely wrong
1- Saying “yes” to the instant relationship
2- Canceling your plans to accommodate his schedule
3- Try to get him to like you before you know if you like him
4- Saying yes to sex before you’re ready
5- Investing more in the relationship than he does
6- Giving undeserved second chance
7- Self diminishing behavior
@@abdullahiayala7365 was it Matt?
I appreciate you! Lol
@@juliafisher5844 😂👌🏼
ThankYou
#8 8:00
I realize that all I really have is myself and I am of the most importance in my life. This enables me to take great care of myself spiritually and physically. I radiate with love and desire. Smiling is extremely important to me and it actually changes chemicals in the brain to support self love and acceptance. I am 61 and have so many men asking me out…all you gotta do is love yourself and the floodgates open to a river of possibilities.
Thank-you for posting this. It gives me strength!
@@valentinanocross8677 hi yes..well these men are all around us..when you begin to practice genuine self love and acceptance they just appear!! At the park, at the gym, in the grocery store and online dating to name a few. It’s all about loving yourself and then manifesting the man you would love to have in your life. So far, out of hundreds there is one that I pray for God to continue bringing us closer. It’s been almost a year since I met him. He’s ghosted me at times, ignored me sometimes and I refused to let his actions change the way I felt inside. I know these actions were not about me but instead issues he is experiencing
I just keep coming from a place of love, understanding and patience. We as women have to stop worrying about the outcomes of desires. Just put them out into the universe..believe in yourself and God will work magic for you. I will get my man..in a slow and enduring kind of way.
Hello I’m so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
@@abdullahiayala7365 was it Matt?
@Christina Megan was ot Matt?