Being defensive is a RED FLAG #shorts #relationship #seriousrelationship by Mat Boggs

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• Wow! My ex husband was always defensive. In fact, he never did the wrong thing or make a mistake. While, I said sorry, this was how I felt when a b c happened. He heartly agreed that he was right, and I was wrong. He even then blamed me for his mistakes. Then I had enough and filed for a divorce, he was dumbfounded and couldn't understand why? After all, he was perfect

  • That’s called a narcissist

• So if someone is barraging and attacking me with false accusations I'm not allowed to defend myself?

  • I think he's talling about habitual unjustified defensiveness, but if your defensiveness is habitually necessary than your relationship is doomed and yeah you're allowed to defend yourself, but you should sooner set boundaries and decline to share your life with that person if they cross them. Then after a certain point you aren't defending yourself if you continue to subject yourself to their nonsense. And/or vice versa.

    So yeah every angle of habitual defensiveness is not something to seek or work to maintain.

  • He’s not talking about defending when being attacked. He’s talking about the person who makes everything your fault and can’t adjust to hearing you out and caring about your feelings. As in-
    “Honey, i want to talk to you. I don’t hear from you and you’re so hard to reach. I feel like you don’t have much time for us lately and…”

    “Here we go. Why is everything you feel my problem? Your feelings are not my responsibility. I’m just busy. Why do you have to do this? You had to ruin the time we actually have together. I’m not doing anything wrong.”

    Someone who is not being being defensive- “Has it been that way? I’m sorry. I don’t know where my head is. I didn’t realize. Let me look at what i have going on and make some time. Is there something you had in mind that you wanted us to do together? Talk to me.”

  • Be careful trying to work it out w a narcissist. It can’t be done !

  • @@Mayfloweralways wow, that’s exactly how the response should be when the other partner brings up and issue

  • ​@@Mayfloweralwaysare you a therapist/ counselor of sorts... that was lovely to read

• Right 💌

• Gift Ideas? Coming up on 1st year anniversary since meeting the man of my dreams and love of my life. Whats the perfect 1st year gift for a very masculine, sweet, romantic man?

  • If it's your husband or wife that is being defensive, how do you handle it

• Thank you I didn't know this maybe something I need to work on ❤

• Not with a narcissist

  • Yep. Been with one and it was awful. 13 horrible months.

• I already tell him what I want . But say something that he will do this but when it comes of the day nothing happens..

• Maybe he is not really the right guy

• Matt you look tired... please take care of yourself... we need you ❤

  • He doesn't look tired to me.

• My husband is always defensive. From day 1.