EXCLUSIVE: Love Is Blind’s Clay Gravesande and His Mom Margarita Tells All | Dear Future Wifey E812
The most controversial episode in the history of Netflix's Love Is Blind, has set the stage to have conversations around how childhood trauma can impede decisions on marriage. Clay Gravesande, joined by his mom, Margarita Gravesande, share the yellow couch as we unpack the decision Clay made that upset the world. Should he have gone through with the marriage? Should he have ended the relationship earlier? This episode encourages you to choose the side of healing… "Please Heal, Black Man."
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I hope A.D. gets the chance to come on this show and speak.
You know Laterras already has it in motion😂
@@SymonnePatABSOLUTELY
Yep he be on it for sure@@SymonnePat
Totally agree👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
100%👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
So excited to watch this. I love Clay and his mom! I don’t think enough people have grace for him. I love his transparency.
I think AD had a lot of love and understanding. She just felt like he led her on to let her down.
Oh yes I agree AD was very understanding. I think it’s sad that they didn’t end up on the same page even though they planned to be.
Exactly!
Season one was the best season of this show. The ppl that got married are still married 5yrs later. It was authentic. I feel like now most ppl have an agenda. True connection no matter how quick can work.
Agreed. I haven’t watched many more at all after that. The pandemic had some good shows…. those 2nd seasons got into the hype of society.
Another GREAT show birthed out of the pandemic – DEAR FUTURE WIFEY! Standing the test of time!
Yes they want paid partnerships now smh they seen how well Lauren did and immediately wanted the clout. But Lauren and her husband are one in a million.
I agree!
I really like your comment!
God doesn’t make any mistakes. His storyline was needed on Love Is Blind. Many people were able to see how your childhood can affect your relationships(romantic and platonic) as an adult. It also showed how women will ignore all the signs that say , “Do not marry him, He’s not ready” just to be a wife. Thank you, Laterras, for bringing Clay and his mother on the show. His mother’s conversation with his Dad was vital to understanding Clay. Parents have to eat humble pie and own up to our actions and apologize to our kids(grown or young) when we drop the ball. I commend Clay for letting her know he wasn’t ready to marry her. I don’t think she was mature enough to care for his heart and understand what was actually going through his head. People (the viewers)get caught up in the romantic side of the show and cast judgment without understanding. This season was a great learning experience for everyone who watched. I learned a lot about myself and what to look for in a future purpose partner.
I concur with your response! This season was a great learning tool! I as well appreciated his mother and the dialogue she shared, sooooo valuable!!
So true
It baffles me how people are mad at this man they don’t know from what he did on a tv show. It’s ENTERTAINMENT!
Thank you!!! That’s what I keep saying…lol
I don’t know now my YouTube friend…what did he do? 👁🗨👁🗨 lol. Let me get caught up
Because someone actually got hurt. Someone’s heart is not for entertainment
An “experiment” at that…plus A.D. signed up for that possible outcome
Facts
I didn’t watch this season but Clay is so articulate, intelligent and handsome that he has influenced me to watch this season. He has every right to make a decision that’s best for his life. I think he did the right thing. He and AD now can take the time and get to know each other in their time. He was raised right!!❤
Myself, and nearly all of my female friends are either in therapy, or have been before. None of us are perfect, but a lot more women seem to be doing the work to become healed and whole before pursuing romantic relationships. We’re not asking men to come to us perfect, or completely baggage free. We’re just asking you to start the work before you get to us, so you don’t harm us on your pathway to healing. You can’t keep raking us over the coals to keep yourself warm, and then asking us for grace afterwards.
💯
Yes, that part!
That’s the ideal BUT we have to accept that women are inherently and socialized to be more comfortable with being emotional, talking about our emotions, and processing our emotions.
That is NOT a thing for men. Still.
It’s the goal, but it is just not a social norm in our society so… while it can be a desire that a man will be that self-aware and emotionally mature… we also have to accept that those are rare men.
And that it’s likely that a relationship or child will prompt a man to do that.
So… I focus more on encouraging them to do the work. Normalizing mental health care in ALL forms and… raising my son to be emotionally intelligent
WELL said! 👍👍👍👍👍
Clay was transparent thru the whole process. Let’s be honest if we were on the show half of us would be crucified for our actions.
Hearing his mother speak was everything. ❤️
Everything!!!!!!!
For sure!
Yes!!!
She is such a blessing
Right! And even though she didn’t SAY it, I feel like she didn’t think they weren’t meant for each other at that time! Also, people leave the most important factor in a relationship of any kind and that’s GOD! When you listen to Him, you will never go wrong!
Unpopular opinion: I commend Clay for knowing he wasn’t ready to fully (emotionally and mentally) commit to someone he’s known for 6-8wks…even if he waited til the alter. (The point of the show, which many has done before this season). We saw him struggled the whole time about seeing himself as a husband. He knew there was more work to be done within himself. His crown was shifted, it never fell off. Keep doing the work king!
💙
I couldn’t agree more.
Yessss I ABSOLUTELY agree with your response. It was sad to see him tell her No but I appreciated his honesty and transparency!
Amen
Yessss Yessss Yessss! The hard part is he did with millions watching a produced show that makes us unconsciously get into “fairy tale ending” mode. We also have sister AD that also requires some healing and growth that she mentioned. We tend to forget those moments we needed grace to grow from whatever the (______) fill in the blank moment was. Some might need to ask if they have unconsciously lost grace for men and how many moments we wished somebody broke it off with us versus take us through a rollercoaster that lead to more damage in the end. Clay has a lot to take responsibility for and I do think there was covering he could have done for AD before going to the altar. He is also sounds like the first in his family to work on healing at this level with no blueprint of how to do this. Mistakes will be made on the journey of designing a generation’s first blueprint on healing before partnership. If anything, Clay & AD with the help of Clay’s parents opened up a topic that many people needed to see that I hope results in more healing so healthier relationships can be birthed from it.
If we actively listen to this conversation without our judgement ears, we might learn a thing or two. Honestly, I watched the show, and I was confused with his decision but listening to him now on this podcast I feel like i understand him more. Laterras, I am proud of you for giving this King the space for him to be open and transparent throughout this interview and tell his story. This world is lacking in Grace, we are so quick to judge people without knowing everything. Great interview and I’m ready for Wednesday interview as well. This season has been LIT for real
I honestly feel like there is a lot of truth in what Clay has disclosed to us. Although I don’t think he should’ve went on the show with all the reservations and issues he had because the show was about getting married within that quick timeline. I’m sure they went over that with him. He is not fully at fault here because AD chose to ignore a lot of red flags. I do feel whole heartedly that his purpose on the show was for the healing needed for his family. I loved the scene between his mom and dad. We needed to see something real like that on television. I hope they are all healing!
“I felt he was saying I’m sorry to my heart” Powerful! This episode was and is powerful!
When I watched the show, in the beginning I felt Clay wasn’t authentic. However I noticed he really was battling some trauma. He said more than a few times his biggest fear was not being ready or hurting her. We are grown-ups with childhood bruises.
Maybe it’s a generational thing but I couldn’t comprehend what trauma he’s trying to heal from. Could you please enlighten me?
Based on my viewing & understanding, the trauma was seeing the man he loves & respects the most dishonor the woman (mom) he loves the most. Hence being mom & dad relationship. Most times we don’t notice we pick up our relationship style from what we witnessed growing up.
Thank you Laterras for stepping out in faith to do this episode! It was truly a blessing.
Mama Gravesande is indeed the TRUTH and I can listen to her all day. She’s such a wealth of WISDOM! Laterras, thank you again for this wonderful interview and thank you for succumbing to The Holy Spirit for bringing Clayton on the show. There’s SO much to unpack from this interview and I would recommend anyone desiring to heal to watch this. Finally, we need to give ourselves and others, grace!
Thanks
He knew he wasn’t ready BEFORE he got on the show…hell he didn’t even do enough research to even watch the show prior to signing up HOWEVER I am so glad you invited him on the yellow couch. So many men need support in healing
I agree. He thought AD was going to date him after the show even though she said no, he did not believe her and took his chances. Date her after the show, want the wiffie ways but not put a ring on it.
exactly.
Yes and AD needed help too and will be a great discussion. She wasn’t ready either.
My exacy sentiments.
I’ve watched people swear they were ready for marriage on that show and be the absolute worst ones on the show!! Who is truly ready for something like that when the process is so intense and unnatural… It’s unrealistic to think anyone is “READY” to marry a person after 4-6 weeks of knowing them. It’s a risk either way!
Please do not compare this emotionally intelligent young MAN to Derrick Jackson. They are NOT the same. At all! ☺️ Thanks for having Clay on.💪🏾 🙏🏾 Proud of him.
I don’t think he was comparing the two men per say, but moreso the experience of having two “unpopular” social influences on his show… one being one that drove his revenue down and one who he hopes won’t do the same because of the way people feel about him. I think he’s pretty safe with this episode though. I hope so anyway.
I really don’t understand how people say they want men to open up and tell their side but when their side is not palatable to some they immediately project negativity onto them. I still encourage Black men to be vulnerable but I understand why they have a hard time doing so. I pray people heal so they can stop placing their stuff onto everybody else.
What is so wrong with wanting to heal, give this man grace
Nothing wrong with healing. Stop engaging with folks when Y’KNOW you need to heal. At some point you have to break the cycle of hurt people hurt people, 🙄 sit yo behind down somewhere and be still while you heal.