I Hate To Tell you This: It Was Only A Date! #shorts
I hate to tell you this – but it was just 1 date.
I don’t care how great they seem on paper, if they’re not continually choosing the relationship, forget it.
If you have a 10/10 first date with someone it can be so easy to go into fantasy mode and become overly focused on them.
Instead of building expectations your work here is to remind yourself you’re at the very start of your journey to getting to know them and working out if they’re the kind of person you can be with.
Don’t over reward how much they match your hypothetical type – instead focus on how they’re continuing to build a relationship with you in the real world.
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Well that can be generally used in any life situations, and not just dating, or finding jobs. You are so right pretty lady.
Don’t hope at all, at you’ll see the magic (let’s call it that way). Meaning if you don’t hope, then something will happen good. Just give it a try.
There’s no incentive to treat people like human beings anymore which occurs on both sides of the dating market. Zero empathy for how one would feel being ghosted.
so true, a date is a date, its basically gettting to know someone, no matter how much you think “they are my type, etc etc, I see this going where I want it etc, I’m going to automatically pull for this all the way romantically from the get go etc” … you really don’t know that person that well, you’re just getting to know them and the same for them… You have to understand its so neutral at the beginning, once you start building up past the first few dates, then you can begin to go down that road. in this sense traditional dating doesn’t involve sex right away, or even until marriage if you subscribe to super traditional.
Great advice
This tends to make one think that the best way to keep moving forward is to date multiple people at once, or at least have an option to.
I think that certain people think yhis strategy is somewhat “unloyal”. But until the person they’re dating has proven that they should be exclusive, it is a practical, reasonable approach.
I agree. Getting to know people gradually also places less expectation on that one outcome & takes a lot of pressure out of the dating experience
I think also, ‘dating mulitple people’ needs to be understood as more ‘traditional dating’ in the sense that these dates aren’t getting sexual, at least that’s what i’m picking up. That’s really the only way where you can date multiple people and not be stepping on any toes, if its all preliminary dates to find someone who you’re more interested in that just a few dates then you can date multiple people however this gets confused with ‘sleeping with mulitiple people’ these days.
Solid advice 💯
The reason most people ghost is very simple: it’s easy. Most people do whatever avoids discomfort. It’s only a date indeed. So most people don’t consider it worth getting uncomfortable over. Simple as that.